Keeping Up

A friend of mine recently posed a question on Facebook: What is something you can’t justify spending money on? The premise was to find things his friends would bulk at spending on that wouldn’t cause others to think twice. There were a number of answers including Apple products, designer clothes, and gambling. The question got me thinking about the areas where I tend to be a bit tighter fisted and the areas where I am willing to spend a little more than others might find reasonable. The whole thing, combined with Kevin’s earlier post about rampant consumerism, got me thinking about the value of material possessions and the need to “keep up with the Joneses.”

First, my answers to my friend’s questions. My first response was a new car. I have never seen the value in shelling out extra money for a brand-new car when perfectly good used options are available that can save me tens of thousands of dollars. I am the kind to get a car, drive it until it dies, and replace it with something reliable that is a few years old and not super expensive. The car I drive now was three years old when I bought it and I have had in for over five years. It has the bells and whistles I enjoy (heated seats, blue tooth, sunroof) and was relatively inexpensive. I largely see new cars bought every 2-3 years as nothing more than status symbols and I couldn’t care less about the kind of stuff. I guess I shouldn’t offend those who enjoy new cars, it just doesn’t make sense to me.

My second response was an upgraded phone every year or two, which dovetails nicely with Kevin’s post. While I never saw the sense in getting a new, expensive car, I was definitely one of the sheep who felt the need to have the latest and greatest iPhone in my pocket at all times. I loyally – and foolishly – upgraded every chance I could to make sure I was as close to new as fiscally possible. Since the end of 2016, I’ve sang a different tune about my phone. I have been rocking my iPhone 7 since then and have no plan to upgrade until I absolutely have to. The phone is paid for and it makes no sense to me to spend upwards of $1,000.00 US on the newest phone just to have it. This is where my mind turned to the idea of “keeping up.”

While I’m sure people upgrade their phone for functional reasons, I believe the majority of people do it just so they can say they have the latest and therefore “best” phone available. It’s a point of pride and a way to not be ostracized from one’s social circle. Hell, that’s the reason I upgrade. I use my phone to chat with friends, listen to music, surf the web, and occasionally make phone calls. Pretty much any model of iPhone can help me achieve those tasks. I don’t take pictures, so a super fancy camera is wasted on me. I’m not a gamer, so enhanced graphics and processing speed aren’t a major concern. The core functions I need could be achieved by any smartphone on the market, so why did I waste all that money chasing the “best” phone on the market? I did it to keep up. I am thrilled to be free of that pressure now.

Today, I look at that line of thinking and laugh at how truly foolish it was. I suppose that kind of clarity comes only with age and life experience. I am truly ecstatic to be in my mid-thirties and to be aging out of the prime advertising demographics. New things are no longer targeted at me and there is no social pressure to “keep up” anymore. It is insanely liberating to spend my money on things that add value to my life, not my social standing (such as it ever was). Tying someone’s worth to their material possessions is childish and immature, but it is the way we are conditioned in this country. If you don’t have as good a thing as your peers, you are less than them and should feel inferior. This is the way the mass marketing machine keeps us forking over our hard-earned dollars week after week, year after year.

None of this should be read as an indictment of people who like new cars or phones, those are just examples from my personal values. If those things add value to your life, go crazy. This whole thing is an indictment of the notion that we HAVE to spend our money on status symbols to retain our personal value or worth. It has just been in my thirties that I’ve given this any thought and bulked at the notion of having to pass some test everyday to prove that I was hip, or up to date, or in the know. I’m ready to let popular life pass me by and focus on the things I truly value in my life.

Recently, I’ve taken this a step further by cancelling my Netflix subscription. I took a look at the money I was dishing out every month and the value Netflix added and decided it just didn’t balance out. Pressure to pay for all these streaming services is just a more subtle version of “Hey, you need the newest phone!” The pressure to “keep up” on all the trendy shows is enough to drive us made. Fear of missing out has made us all slaves to whatever thing is trending at any given moment, which includes spending DAYS of our lives staring at screens just so we don’t feel left out within our given tribes. Before I cancelled my Netflix, I did think “man, I am going to miss some stuff,” but I resisted that pull. In the weeks since, I have read multiple books and began writing again, both here in this blog and in the form of some fiction that I might share somewhere down the road. These are things I value deeply and have enriched my life greatly since the beginning of 2020.

Now all this probably makes me sound a bit pretentious and sanctimonious. To those charges, all I can say is, I’m a bit pretentious and sanctimonious at times. I promise I come by it honestly. And I am not some kind of miser who hordes my pennies saved by not buying phones or Netflix. I spend plenty of money on things people would probably shake their heads at. The thing I now take into consideration when spending is “does this add value to my life?” If the answer is yes, I go bonkers. Just look at my Amazon order history and you will see a man who is not afraid to push the boundaries of his disposable income. I just try to make sure the value added these days is MY value and not that of people I’m trying to impress. Trying to impress people is a waste of time. You do you and let the people who appreciate that stay in your life. Anyone else is not worth your time.

So, what do I spend my money on? Well, in the last couple years, I have developed a small obsession with footwear. How many pairs of shoes does a man really need? One dress, one athletic, a pair of boots, and maybe some causal sneakers. I have all of those in duplicate and there is really no end in sight. I like shoes and I like the patterned socks that go with them. I see them as a chance to show off my personality in what I consider to be an otherwise conservative wardrobe. They add value to my life and I couldn’t care less what others think about them.

I also drop some dough on music. In the last few years, I have easily dropped over $1,000 US on speakers, turntables, and records to play on said turntables. That is really not much when you consider how much stereo equipment can cost, but it is a substantial investment for someone in my income range. People have asked me why I buy vinyl when everything can be streamed now and the only answer I have is “I like it.” I get great pleasure form finding an album by a band I love, placing it on the table, dropping the needle, and letting the sweet sounds come out of a decent pair of speakers. I could give some bullshit answer about audio quality, but for me, I just feel a deeper connection to the music when the source is tangible and mechanical. Sending that money has added massive value to my life.

So that’s me, shoes and records. I have been liberated from chasing likes on Facebook or, to use an extremely dated saying, being up to speed at the water cooler. The only person I feel the need to keep up with anymore is me, and I tend to move a little slow these days.